You'd think with this life I'd be used too...

You'd think I'd be used to not having much control of my own life. Ya see being based in Atlanta can create a massive domino effect during the summer months. In case you are not from the South I'll give you an example. At any given point between 1-7pm on any given day a thunderstorm can AND will pop up ad stay put for a few minutes or a few hours. I've, now, been caught in this not once but twice this summer with many more occurrences to come. Why am I blabbing about this you wonder?! Well you'd think I could handle not being in control of my life outside of my daydream job! By "daydream" I mean flying around the WORLD and getting paid pretty good to do it- serving a snack and a beverage.

I have really liked this guy for several months and a few weeks ago I had a total come apart! I'm not sure where it came from but it took over and quite possibly caused some major damage! This particular trip my friend- the guy-went on was a trip/mission from Hell for me. Yes, I swore off the military several years back, but this one is TOTALLY AWESOME. Anyways, I didn't understand why he wasn't emailing me to let me know he was ok, as a matter of fact I didn't understand any of the trip. I went as far as emailing him stupid absurd stuff that had no business being emailed. It should have waited until he got back, but ohhhhh noooo it didn't. I later found out, after pitching a royal hissy fit, he didn't have internet service at some if not all his stops on his mission! Why did I overreact so badly?! I mean, I've dated a few military guys before this and even been through a deployment I know all about this "little to no communication" aspect of it. Well we are just friends and I have been having a hard time adjusting to this. I ask myself everyday: what will this be like, will we ever hangout again, what does he really think- about me, him, us?! So, I've turned to the Lord! I have been doing some serious reevaluating of MY actions. I have been praying for patience- I need it like a fat kid needs cake! I pray for peace and I mostly pray for what is meant to be will be! Regardless of the outcome of the story here I've got to always remember that I am not and will not and should not be in control of my life! He is my pilot and I am his Co-Pilot. I have to remember to give everything to Him and He will ensure I am safe! Why is this so hard to do?! Because I am a selfish person- on so many levels! I have been giving this a good run and so far I am doing ok...... I could use a few extra prayers, though!

Thanks for the blogging vent! These won't all be like this. I have promised a passengers I've met recently that I'd blog about real life everyday situations. This topic just weighed a little heavy on my heart tonight. Good night from Alabama!